For the interactive installation Presence

In recent years, I found a treasure trove of hidden journals written by my late sister Jane LeBlanc from about age 12 to 46. They inspired me to understand her presence in my life when she was alive and continued presence in my life after her death in 2010. More recently, I found a stash of years-old eroding cassette tapes and some newer cell phone recordings of Janey talking. Some of these found audio recordings will now be a part of a larger interactive art installation I've been working on for several years.

Presence is a sound, scent, and visual interactive exploration of a loved one’s essence flowing through their belongings and rooms, reaching out after death. I received some of my inspiration for the audio portion of my installation from The Andy Warhol Diaries documentary series which was spellbinding to watch and listen to. As part of my project, I was going to compose new music for each of Janey’s recreated rooms in the installation initially and that was to be the only audio element. Now that I have some of Janey’s audio recordings, I am composing seven new thematic ambient music compositions for Janey’s found audio recordings, which will be heard in the rooms. The original music arrangements include foundation piano music with modular synth sounds and music, electric and acoustic guitars, and other instrumentation.

These audio recordings of my sister’s voice sharing her life are the final missing piece of the puzzle for the installation Presence. I always felt something fundamental was missing from the project. The installation lacked warmth and humanity to a certain degree, and I didn’t know what to do. I considered not doing the project many times as I felt I was doing my sister a great disservice. Her zest for life, adventure, and love of people and places; her very essence was missing. Now, as people move in and out of the gallery installation of Janey’s two recreated rooms in different parts of a gallery setting (bedroom with writing desk at window area and Paris café and bookstore), touch her personal belongings, and read her journals, they will hear her voice along with the music flowing under it and ambient sounds fading in and out all around the rooms. Her journals, visual art, and photographs will also be placed in the recreated rooms and places she would have created them along with other personal things she owned.

Another inspiration that has led me to want to create original music for my installation project is that for several years now, I have been asked to create original music for people of all ages in palliative care facing the end of their lives. They say to me, “Create the soundtrack for my life.” They talk to me and tell me incredibly private things that happened throughout their lifetime to help me in the creation process. CBC Atlantic Voice produced a radio documentary about my time with palliative care patients and the preservation of my sister’s life story through her writings and belongings. https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-3-atlantic-voice/clip/16033578-music-to-die-to

These experiences I have gone through, helping people say goodbye, I believe, have prepared me for this project. It’s finally time I create the visual and soundtrack for my sister’s life. When she was dying in 2010, I was not emotionally equipped to deal with anything, and it was impossible to help her then as I now help people. Even though his elaborate installations are very different from my project, I feel a close affinity with artist Motoi Yamamoto. In 1994, his sister passed away at 24 from brain cancer. In thinking about her and what he had lost, he began creating art that reflected his grief. My sister also died of brain cancer, and like Motoi, I continue to make music, videos, and art projects about my sister, family, and memories to work through it. Another artist I admire is Jennifer Loeber, whose project, “Left Behind,” examines the need to keep even the most mundane of a loved one’s things after death. Like Jennifer, who lost her mother suddenly, I too turned to the things my sister left behind, objects transformed into tangible evidence of her existence, as artistic inspiration. I still have the day-to-day objects that she used and loved. My sister left me all her possessions in her will and gave me permission to share her journey with others. (ball glove, mouth guard for sleeping, backpack, clothing, visual art, photographs, guitar, worry stones, hats, journals, letters, etc.).

Cat LeBlanc